This sermon was delivered on February 6, 2022 at the weekly service at The Kensington in Galesburg, Illinois.
If there was ever a scripture or hymn that grew old in seminary it was “Here I am Lord.”
Here I am Lord
If you send me
I have heard you Calling in the night
I will go, Lord
If you send me
I will hold your people in my heart
I don’t have to look at a hymnal to know every line and sing every harmony. That’s how much we sang this hymn.
Call stories are a big part of the biblical narrative- how God chose the ones who would speak God’s words to others. We have the calling of Abraham and Sarah, the calling of Moses, the calling of Joshua, Deborah, Gideon, Hannah, Samuel. The list goes on throughout both testaments- each of these call moments is a special story- a moment where we get a glimpse of God’s inner workings and God’s choices for the voice of the divine on earth.
There are wildly dramatic stories- like 80-year-old Moses encountering a burning bush. But there are also intimate stories like Samuel’s gentle whispers from God in his sleep. There’s the blinding moment on the Damascus Road that Paul experienced. Or there’s Jonah, who was called to give a prophecy he didn't want to give and ended up in the belly of a great fish. The bible gives us story after story of God calling someone into God’s service. Each one is different and each one is specific to the person and the moment.
Each of these call stories also has a familiar progression
- God shows up in some form
- God gives a speech
- God gives the prophet their mission/call
- The prophet says “OH HECK NO”
- God says “OH HECK YES”
- Then there’s a sign to confirm what has happened was real
In Isaiah, God shows up in a vision seated on a big throne with Seraphs surrounding God singing “Holy Holy Holy is the lord of hosts”. Needless to say, Isaiah is a little freaked out by this and starts the “I’m not worthy” bit of the process a bit early- he says “I am a man of unclean lips.” So the Seraphs hold a live coal to his lips to clean them, so that excuse was no longer valid. So when God says, “Whom shall I send?” Isaiah can’t answer any way other than “Here am I; send me.”
I love that Isaiah’s call story is so short and so simple- I mean as far as call stories go. It’s tidy. Clean lips, God asks, Isaiah answers, and off Isaiah goes to share God’s word. That’s it. No drama, no giant fish, no unexplained pregnancies. But call stories don’t always look that tidy.
When I started feeling called to Ministry, I was definitely more of a Jonah. I wanted to run away and it didn’t matter if there was big ‘ol fish waiting to eat me. For a long time, the calling was quiet and small- a whisper here or there like it was for Samuel thinking Eli was calling for help. But, I guess God lost patience with me and it all came to a head at church camp where I was on staff one summer.
God started bugging me with little things— the campfire that always sent smoke and sparks at me, the small group that showed me amazing amounts of love, a gentle rain. I refused to engage in a discussion about ministry, so God forced the issue. God picked a fight with me! God knows that I am terrified of storms and the only thing that scares me more than a good thunderstorm is a tornado. As the camp settled in for the afternoon nap time, the dining hall cleared out and I hurried to finish typing in some song lyrics.
As I sat alone in the dining hall, the weather radio came to life with a tornado warning for Casey County Kentucky. Camp WaKonDa’Ho is in Casey County. The only safe places on the site are the bathrooms and the dining hall and everyone was asleep in the cabins precariously perched in on the Ky Hillside. I had no choice. God had picked a fight and I had to engage. I ran cabin to cabin—dodging lightning bolts and flying tree limbs—knocking on each door and yelling TORNADO WARNING GET TO THE DINING HALL NOW! Honestly, I was freaked out.
God chose my deepest fear and forced me to face it. I yelled into the storm. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME, GOD? Why a tornado? Why me? Why today? Each question was answered with another clap of thunder or flash of lightning. Finally, all of the campers were “safe” in the dining hall and I trudged off to the bathroom to peel myself out of soaking wet clothes. I pulled branches and leaves out of my hair and began to count the cuts, scrapes, and bruises from my Smackdown in the woods.
I did not come out of that encounter unscathed. I did not come out of that encounter unchanged. The next day, during a worship service, I finally said yes to God’s call. I came home from camp, met with my minister, and within a few weeks was enrolled in seminary.
The song that we were singing during the worship service at camp? Here I am Lord…
The song we sang at the first worship service at Seminary? Here I am Lord…
It’s funny to me now- that the song telling the story of Isaiah’s call would be the song that we kept singing in these moments. Where’s the song about “I don’t want to go talk to the awful people in Ninevah so quit asking” or the song about “No, being a pregnant teenager sounds like a really bad idea, thanks though” or even “I don’t like Christians and I’m going to persecute them until you zap me on a road with blindness and I come to my senses”? These types of call stories seem so much more realistic- deep resistance, fear, running. But we’ve somehow mushed all of them together into this angel/coal to the lips/Okie dokie God I’ll go moment.
So why do we idolize Isaiah’s call in this way? Why does his calling get a hymn and get included in the lectionary regularly? Why do Christians place so much importance on Isaiah? I think it has to do with Isaiah’s importance in gospel proofs of Jesus as the Messiah. I think because such importance is placed on the words Isaiah has said, his moment of calling has become that more important.
I also think it’s commonly shared BECAUSE it’s not the giant dramatic run away, scared of serving, don’t make me talk to Pharoah kind of moment we encounter elsewhere. It’s tidy. It sets Isaiah up as an example of how best to accept a call from God. See some angels, have your guilt burned away, then say yes and go on with your work. So maybe not that simple, but a whole lot less complicated than burning bushes or giant fish.
But I think it’s important to also realize that all call moments don’t have to be big. They don’t have to have angels or tornadoes. They can be small simple nudges that push us closer to God. Those small nudges that make us feel closer to each other are also calls from God. And just because you’ve been called once doesn’t mean you won’t be called again in other ways- big ways or small ways.
And it’s ok to say no/ God doesn’t make us do things we aren’t ready for- that’s why each call story has a moment of reassurance from God- a moment of God saying “yes- you can do this and I wouldn’t have called you if I didn’t think you could.” But even if we say no- God doesn’t give up and the calling doesn’t disappear. We get to say yes when the moment is right. When it feels healthy and holy to say Here am I lord, Send me.
Amen.