How far does welcome go? Just how welcoming and how accepting are you willing to be? How welcoming and accepting was Jesus willing to be?
Today’s scripture gives us a bit of insight into the struggle of being truly welcoming. Sometimes, the internal biases and prejudices we carry keep us from being as welcoming and as open-minded as we are called to be. But, we are not alone in that struggle. According to Matthew, even Jesus struggled with truly accepting everyone. Now, that’s a notion that’s really hard for me to hear, because it flies in the face of the Jesus I follow. But this is Matthew’s Jesus- not Luke’s, so that makes things a little different.
Let’s start with that, actually. Why is Matthew’s Jesus different? We’ve discussed this briefly before. Matthew was written for an audience of Jews and Jewish Christians. Matthew’s goal is to identify Jesus as the Messiah discussed in the Jewish scriptures. It intentionally tries to prove that Jesus is a fulfillment of some kind of prophecy and goes so far as to trace Jesus’s lineage through the lines of the kings of Israel to prove he is heir to some heavenly throne. Because of this Matthew often points out those who are NOT Jewish as being different or antithetical to the work of Christ. Jesus is held up as an example of how to follow Jewish law. Also, there is an effort to minimize the impact of the destruction of the temple, because the presence of Jesus (according to Matthew) negates the need for a temple. (Thank you, Dr. Sumney)
Eventually, Matthew moves the focus of the gospel from just Jewish Christians to those outside of Judaism, but that happens in small doses, and always with a bit of resistance from Jesus and the disciples. Today’s scripture from Matthew is an example of that.
In today’s text, Jesus and his disciples have traveled to Tyre and Sidon and a Canaanite woman “from that region” approaches them for help with her daughter. Geography is very important here. In Mark’s version of this story, the woman is a Gentile. But in Matthew, she’s from “That region” and therefore indigenous to the area. Either way, she is definitely NOT Jewish, but rather a member of a community that had been invaded and colonized by Israel. She was firmly OUTSIDE of the circle of those Matthew’s Jesus is interested in. And he tells her as much, saying “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."
Yikes, Jesus. ONLY to the lost sheep of the house of Israel? This makes me really uncomfortable, and I hope it bugs you a little bit too. I’m not ok with the idea of Jesus being exclusive in who he helped. He treats this woman dismissively and essentially calls her and her daughter dogs. He actually says that! He says “It is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs." Again, Yikes, Jesus. I’m not going to try to sugarcoat this passage as Jesus just testing the woman’s faith, nor am I going to try to do some sort of razzle-dazzle tap dance to make it seem less harsh. Jesus is discriminating against this woman, and in doing so we are seeing the boundaries of his welcome. And like I said, it makes me uncomfortable.
I respect the woman in this story deeply because she does not give up when Jesus tries to send her away. She stays. She argues. She commands Jesus’ attention. And something in her passionate request changes Jesus' mind. Something happens. The woman’s “daughter is freed from her oppression and can go on with life. The question is, did something change in and for Jesus? Did he have his eyes opened to this woman’s true humanity? Even if we find this encounter distasteful, it does remind us that whatever we believe about Jesus’ divinity, we also confess his full humanity. Surely this is an expression of his humanity.” (Cornwall)
And I think that’s what sticks with me in this story. Even Jesus struggled to be fully accepting of everyone all the time. Bob Cornwall asks it this way, “How open are our hearts and minds to those outside our circle? Are we willing to open the doors wide and welcome the stranger, the one who is different, into our midst?” (Cornwall) Now I find this question from Bob really interesting because the United Methodist Church has used the tagline “Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors” for a number of years even if their national church policies don’t always reflect that missive.
What does it look like to have an open mind?
An open mind is questioning. An open mind questions the world and others and really digs for information. An open mind doesn’t just accept information for the sake of accepting it, but looks deeper and gets to the heart of an issue before making a decision. An open mind doesn’t just toe the party line, but questions it, works through it, and develops its own ideas and opinions.
An open mind also takes that questioning one step further. An open mind is a learning mind. Education is an important part of opening one’s mind. Now, this doesn’t mean that everyone is required to run out and get a doctoral degree, but it does mean that if we want to have open minds, we can never stop learning
An open mind is creative. Now I don’t necessarily mean crafty or artsy. What I mean by creative is that an open mind is a co-creator with God and is always looking for a new or exciting way to do something. Innovation is one of the distinct features of an open mind. An open mind is always looking for a new way…a new idea…but more than that, an open, creative mind is willing to accept the new…willing to deal with change, and thrives on change in such a way that it actually becomes MORE open in the process.
An open mind is above all things accepting. Acceptance doesn’t mean just opening up your head and allowing anyone to pour stuff in. Acceptance doesn’t mean agreeing with every new opinion that comes along. Acceptance means allowing for other opinions, expressions, and choices whether or not they have anything to do with you. One doesn’t have to agree with someone in order to accept them. Acceptance does not mean agreeing with everyone or with everything people may say or do but it does mean having room for ideas and backgrounds other than our own.
When we allow our minds to be opened through questioning, learning, creating, and accepting we in turn become more open-minded to the possibilities we have in our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. When our minds are open, we can begin to learn and understand the true depths of God’s loving acts through Christ. When our minds are open, we can begin to see all of the possibilities that God can offer our lives and that we can offer others.
But an open mind isn’t enough. Our hearts have to be open too!
An open heart is loving. This would seem the most obvious statement involving the human heart. Of course, it loves…isn’t that the purpose of the heart? To be loving? But love is more than just saying the words, “I love you”. An open heart shows care and compassion in ways that go beyond words and beyond trite gestures. An open heart puts itself second and others first. There are no restrictions in its affections. An open heart is above all, a loving heart.
Open hearts are moved to acts of social action and service to the world. An open heart willingly serves others and does so with no regard for self, success, or profit. An open heart serves for the sake of serving. An open heart loves so deeply and forgives so fully that it is compelled to serve others. Open hearts are moved by the plight of others and want to help. An open heart serves others, but an open heart is also vulnerable enough to accept service from others when it is offered. An open heart is serving. An open heart is vulnerable.
And it’s hard. It is hard to be open and vulnerable. It is hard to have an open mind and an open heart all the time. Doing so can set one up for heartache and abuse. Giving and serving can exhaust the body and the spirit. Helping others all the time can lead to neglect of our own homes our, own bodies, and our own lives. Now, I’m not going to make excuses for Jesus in this passage and say “Oh he was tired” or “Oh he was busy.” Nope. He wasn’t nice. He wasn’t open-minded or open-hearted. The woman had to pry open his mind and heart with her passion and love for her daughter.
But she prevailed. Jesus stopped and listened and the woman’s daughter was healed. His heart and mind were eventually opened. So as uncomfortable as this story makes me, I also really like it. I like it because it shows us that even Jesus needed a moment to rethink his position. That Jesus could look past the political and social conflicts surrounding this woman and see her (and her daughter’s) humanity. I think that we often forget that we’re allowed to change our minds. We’re allowed to be wrong, admit we were wrong, and then change our path and do something new. Jesus got called out here, and instead of doubling down, throwing a fit, or storming away he stopped, realized that he could help this woman, and then did so.
I also like it because the woman is so powerful. I don’t want to negate her power in this story. She knows what she wants and what she needs and she refuses to give up hope that her daughter can be healed. She is persistent in her belief that Jesus can help her and she doesn’t back down. Now, she’s not a “Karen” about it and she doesn’t act all entitled to healing. No, she simply challenges Jesus’ response and makes him rethink his opinion. And while he tells her her faith is great, I think her persistence is even greater. Her story is a powerful reminder that we can speak back to those in power and that sometimes we can even get them to change.
So, how far does welcome go? As far as we can push it. And sometimes, pushing that welcome wider means asking tough questions and even telling Jesus he might be wrong. That’s hard, but it’s so worth it when we can widen the circle of love and let more people in.
Amen