Imagine starting a relationship over a shared tuba. Maddy and Brian’s beginning is a little more complicated than that, but at the heart of it is the one tuba at Guilford High School that wasn’t falling apart.
Brian and Maddy met because of band. The first time they met, Maddy was an 8th grader and Brian was a sophomore music instructor at a band camp Maddy and her sister attended. But apparently, Brian doesn’t even remember meeting Maddy at that time. Later, they would play in jazz band together- Brian the trumpet and Maddy the trombone, but outside of Jazz band, they shared one tuba.
Soon, Maddy and Brian would share much more. From Halloween Laser Quest games to hanging out with their friends, together, they built a friendship that became something more. These moments with friends revealed something to Brian. He saw how kind, loving, thoughtful, caring and downright awesome Maddy is and knew he had to be with her. On Valentine’s Day, he wrote Maddy a small poem (not anything sweet, but something kind of stupid), and that got them talking. On March 2, 2016, they went on their first date. And that, as they say, is history.
I love the humble beginnings of this relationship, and how honest and sweet Maddy and Brian are to each other. For their honeymoon, they have chosen to do one of their favorite things together- hiking in Iowa. And that seems to be such a perfect way for them to celebrate.
There are lessons to be learned from hiking, and I want to share a few of them with the two of you before you embark on this journey called marriage.
No matter how good the map is, you’re going to get lost. Sure, we think there are great plans and maps for the future we want or the things we have in mind for ourselves, but that’s not how life works. Maps reflect what someone else has seen and written down, they don’t reflect what is really there. So even with a plan in mind, you have to make decisions based on what you are seeing in the moment, not what others have seen or done in the past. In other words, your marriage is your own journey- you don’t have to follow anyone’s plans but your own.
You’ve gotta be prepared. No matter how difficult or long a hiking trail is, you aren’t going to go out without preparing, right? You’ll at least pack some water for a short hike, and for a long one, you’ll need more than that. Marriage is no different. You’ve gotta be prepared. The supplies you need are patience, kindness, and a willingness to listen. You may need more, depending on what you’re facing, but a little patience goes a long way.
You also need to be willing to get dirty. No one goes out to hike expecting to stay perfectly clean. No, you know you’re gonna get sweaty, end up with a few twigs in your hair, and maybe get some dirt stuck in your boots. Marriage is messy! There are days when it is not picture perfect but is instead really hard work. But, getting past the mess is part of the journey. This might be something major like cleaning up after a storm or reconciling after a fight, but it might be something minor like making sure the laundry makes it into the hamper and the dishes find their way to the sink.
Ultimately, marriage is a journey. There are valleys and obstacles. There are days you have to push through and just keep going one step at a time. You might have to climb or scramble to get through it. Some days, you’ll have to reach out your hand and pull your partner up from a fall, and some days you’ll have to be the one being helped. But when you reach the end of the hike- when you see that view or find that cave, you know the path behind you was worth the effort. I pray that you will celebrate every summit you reach together and always be there to enjoy the view with each other.