This sermon was delivered Sunday October 21, 2001.
Dear God,
I just don’t get it. I know that what David did to me was wrong. But, I am a Christian, and I forgave him. Really I did. In my heart and in public I forgave him.
I really did forgive him God, but why did you have to? I know that you are forgiving, and I knew that you would forgive David. But, why do I feel betrayed by you when he takes communion in church? Why then do I get angry when he shows up at FCA? Why can’t I get past thinking of him as a hypocrite?
I really did forgive him God, but why does that terrible night haunt my heart, destroy my dreams, and scare my soul? Why God, does forgiveness not fix all of that. Is it because I’m angry? No, I’m not angry God, I’m damaged; I’m hurt; I’ve been forever changed.
I really did forgive him God, but why do I feel so sad? Shouldn’t you come into my heart and heal the hurt? Isn’t that your job as God? Did you heal his heart? Was his heart even hurt? Why doesn’t forgiveness fix all of this?
I really did forgive him God, but why can’t I forget? I can’t forget the pain and the embarrassment. I can’t forget the fear. I can’t forget. Why does the event of that one night affect everything I do so many days, weeks, months and years later?
I really did forgive him God, but will you now forgive me? Please?
--Jennifer
This thing called Grace is a funny thing. It happens when we least expect it, and it happens to people who we don’t think deserve it. Think of all the times you’ve said, “Oh I forgive You”, all the while secretly hoping that God will “get ‘em” the next moment. We watch someone speed by us on the interstate and secretly hope that they get pulled over. We look at bad things that happen, and say “God could never forgive THOSE people”. In Jennifer’s letter to God, David was one of “THOSE” people. The young woman sincerely thought she had forgiven, but she didn’t think that God should have. Somehow we have come to the conclusion that only a select group of people is worthy of God’s grace. We’re wrong. You see, this thing called Grace is truly a funny thing.
We have no say over who is worthy and who isn’t. Jonah was sure the Ninevites weren’t worthy of salvation. He was so sure of the fact that that he didn’t even want to deliver God’s message to them. Jonah didn’t want the Ninevites to have the smallest chance of salvation. Even after the Grace God had shown Jonah, Jonah could not believe in the possibility of grace for “THOSE people”. But, the joke was on Jonah. In the letter, Jennifer was quite sure that God would not forgive David. After God saved her from potential tragedy, she couldn’t bring herself to allow God to forgive “THAT” person who did “THAT” thing. She didn’t understand that wasn’t her decision to make. Jonah had no say over who was worthy, Jennifer had no say over who was worthy, and quite frankly, WE have no say over who is worthy.
God’s grace is universal, indiscriminate, and perfect. It transcends all of the earthly limitations we try to put on it. Grace is bigger and better than we are. This is a hard pill to swallow, but we must. God does forgive “THOSE” people. The truth is: We ARE “THOSE” people. We ARE the Ninevites and Davids of this world. You can look at it one of two ways: Everyone is worthy of Grace, or No one is worthy of Grace. Either way you look at it, you cannot escape that God forgives. And God DOES forgive. Regardless of whether we want forgiveness to happen, it happens. And to ask God to do otherwise, would be asking God to stop being God. Jonah did not want God to be God, and neither did Jennifer. They both wanted what they thought was ultimate justice. But, they didn’t understand that the perfection of God’s grace mirrors the perfection of God’s justice. Everyone receives equal treatment before God. EVERYONE. That is the perfection of God’s grace.
Despite this perfection, we have a little trouble dealing with it when God forgives someone seemingly undeserving—when God does forgive “THOSE” people. Face it; we don’t like to forgive. For humanity, Grace is complicated and messy. Practicing it might mean opposing the death penalty, or forgiving terrorism. Certainly if we can’t forgive, we don’t want God to either. In this way we are like Jonah. He was quite sure that the Ninevites did not deserve to be saved. He got so angry with God for forgiving “THOSE” people that he went out in the desert to pout. Jonah just did not understand that his understanding of forgiveness didn’t quite fit with God’s perfect Grace. Jennifer too was like Jonah. She was able to forgive (or so she thought), but she did not want God to do so. Her anger and frustration were expressed in her letter to God. Maybe we don’t express our confusion or anger like Jonah or Jennifer, but really we are the same way. -Perhaps we should instead stop being Jonah-ish, come out of our pouting place, and face the fact that God’s grace is inescapable and indiscriminate. No one can hide from the beautiful perfection of God’s Grace—not Jonah, not Jennifer, not “THOSE” people, not us.
Maybe this same grace of God can give US the grace to forgive, too. We can be a people of Grace. We can forgive one another; we CAN forgive “Those” people. We never really find out whether Jonah learned this lesson or not. I know for a fact that Jennifer did learn this lesson. After years of prayer, counseling, and inner turmoil, she did truly forgive David and learn to accept that God had forgiven her. She finally began to understand how God works. Yes, we CAN forgive “THOSE” people. In doing so, we begin to practice grace in our own lives. But, as humans we’ve got to realize that we are incapable of God’s perfect Grace. That doesn’t mean that perfect grace shouldn’t be our goal. The long road to grace will be messy and complicated, so maybe we could start small. Try to forgive those in your circle of influence who have wronged you. If you are able to forgive, then take another step. Forgive someone who wronged you long ago; forgive someone who wronged a member of your family. Practice random acts of kindness. Say please and thank you. Start living your life as a child of Grace. If you do, you will find that your heart grows stronger. Mahatma Ghandi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Be strong.