Why we confess
As we celebrate Ash Wednesday, one of the things we do is come together for communal confession. This is something most faith traditions do during their most important holidays- not just Christianity. There is something about the need to talk out loud about the things we have done or said that have caused harm or have damaged our relationship with God or others.
“Sin” is a tricky thing…so is guilt and these things weigh heavily upon us. When we do or say the wrong thing we know it, and whether anyone is watching or not we feel guilty. We cannot bear our own guilt. It eats at us…gnawing from the inside out…
It’s like the woman in Edgar Allan Poe’s Tell Tale Heart…do you remember that story? She had worked day after day for a very ill man who was not unkind, but had this filmy cloudy vulture eye that stared at her and drove her into madness. In her descent into madness she kills him and chops him up, hiding his body under the floorboards. No one saw what she had done, no one even suspected anything, but when people started looking for the man…things got more difficult. Officers came to the house to investigate, but they found nothing… but the woman is overcome by something she hears…
She hears the heart…pounding…pounding in her head…in her brain…in her very soul. She hears the heart of the old man pounding ~thump~ ~thump~ ~thump~ beneath the floor boards…she grows more frantic…starts sweating, starts speaking more quickly…her pulse and her voice quicken as she tries to keep it together…but all the time…~thump~ ~thump~ ~thump~ The sound grows louder…more persistent…she can’t understand why the officers don’t hear it…she grows more frantic…her discomfort becoming more and more obvious to the officers, her panic driven by the constant, loudening ~thump~ ~thump~ ~thump~ until she cannot take it anymore…she cannot stand constant pounding…she cannot get beyond the ~thump~ ~thump~ ~thump~ and she screams to them… I DID IT!!!!!
Her own GUILT drove her to confess what she had done. She could not take it anymore. Today’s communal confession is about that moment. It’s about saying out loud the things we have done or have NOT done and getting ourselves on the right foot for the start of lent.
Here’s the thing. There is nothing you can do...NOTHING that will make God stop loving you.
Lent is a time of confession, repentance, and forgiveness. We know this, and yet we are as reluctant as the woman in the Tell-Tale Heart to tell the truth of our own failings. And yet guilt is a heavy burden. The psalmist says that when he did not confess, his body ached and he groaned all day…he felt heavy and tired. When guilt eats away at us, isn’t this how we feel? When we are keeping secrets…don’t we feel it inside…that aching even to the point of making us physically ill. Studies have shown that people who keep secrets or bear silent guilt are more susceptible to disease and illness. That those with something to hide, suffer from more headaches and stomach aches. This is not a new phenomenon, clearly our psalmist understood this inner ache that comes from guilt and so did the prophet Joel.
But how rid ourselves of the guilt? How do we gain forgiveness? How do we forgive ourselves?
The first step is confession…admitting the wrong. This is the hardest step. The psalmist knows this and says… “Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle.” In other words, don’t be so stubborn in your confessing. There is nothing you can do…NOTHING that will make God stop loving you. There are things that might disappoint God…they might even break God’s heart, but NOTHING can stop God from loving you…so confess! Tell God what is going on…get it off your heart so that you can be free of the pain…of the ache…of the fear. The thing is…God knows anyway, but saying it..making it real gives you room for forgiveness. If you’ve got all of the “Bad stuff you’ve done” hiding out in your heart…where’s the room for God? Where’s the room for Christ’s redeeming work?
THAT is the value of confession. God does not want us to confess for the sake of confession. God calls us to confession because God knows that it’s good for us. That is makes us feel better and that when we confess, we make more room in our hearts for forgiveness…for love…for hope.
We have to confess…we have to admit what we have done wrong in order to be able to move on from that moment and into grace. That is why confession during Lent is especially important…we’ve got the biggest celebration of Grace and Forgiveness coming up in 40 days…how can we be ready for the crucifixion and resurrection if there isn’t room in our heart for anything but guilt. We have to give it over to God…we have to get it of our chests…
Without forgiveness, the confession is incomplete.
It’s no coincidence that one of the most popular uses of the internet nowadays is this act of confession. There are websites dedicated to anonymous confession…you can just go there and type in what you’ve done wrong and feel better about it. But these websites only do half the job…
See confession is a 2 step process.
Step one: Admit the sin.
Step two: be forgiven.
These websites and countless others offer nothing more than a place to vent your guilt…to admit wrongs. They do not offer absolution or forgiveness and without forgiveness, the confession is incomplete. To be clear though, Christianity isn’t like the legal system…you don’t have to “do your time” to gain God’s forgiveness or to be worthy of Easter.
All you have to do is open your heart in prayer to God and confess what it is that is weighing you down. When you do so, you not only make room for God…you make room for life, and happiness.
Indeed…confession *IS* good for the soul.
Amen.